The Goddess Through My Daughter's Eyes

I love my daughter.

She makes me laugh on some days and smile on the crazier ones. Last night I was sitting on the couch, and I looked out the door and saw a glow through the clouds. I said out loud "OOOO, what's that?!" and got up to see. It was the Moon Goddess glowing a beautiful yellowy glow in the sky. My five year old daughter and six year old son were jumping up and down trying to see. I told them to stand on the couch and they could look. They were in awe as much as I was. My son went up to bed shortly after, but my daughter just couldn't get a good enough look so she stood on top of the archway between our kitchen and living room to get a better view.

She gasped and then said "Mommy I just love the Moon Goddess". I was talking to a friend on messenger and giving her the play by play of what she was saying. I was smiling from ear to ear. "Mommy I love the Moon Goddess and God". I told her they love her too.

Then she said to me "Can we see the Goddess?" I told her we can see her every day in the stars and the sky and the moon and the trees. But she wanted to see her, in human form more or less I think. So I told her when she dreams she might get to see the Goddess. Then she went to the bathroom, and as she is sitting there she asks me "Mommy, can the Goddess see me on the potty?" I said "I guess she can", and she says "I don't want her to see me on the potty". LOLLL I said "well just ask her not to look and she won't look." Silence. Then she got up and asked me if we could go outside and look at the Moon Goddess. I said "sure". I ended my conversation with my friend and we headed outside.

I picked her up and she exclaimed, "There she is Mommy!" and she pointed over to the southeast sky. There she was. "I love you Moon Goddess" she said in her tiny little voice. Then she was pointing out all the stars and planets in the sky(those we could see anyway). She was asking me what color the planets were, and why the stars were so small. We stood out there for a good four or five minutes and then went inside.

As she was getting ready to go to bed, she says out loud "I love you Goddess I love you God." Then she said she loved me too and laid her head down on my lap. She said "I love you Goddess, I love you God" one more time and closed her eyes and went to sleep as I gently ran my hand across her hair.

I will say I do not honor a God, however, if she chooses to speak with a God or honor a God in her path I will not discourage her from it. I enjoyed sharing a spiritual moment with my daughter. I think it's refreshing to have a child's eye view of the deities as we are still a child of the Goddess and our spiritual journey is always a learning moment no matter how old we are. It doesn't have to be so serious all the time, and just as we can cry with our deities in our times of need or sorrow, we can laugh and get excited once in a while and even have some fun too while in their presence.

Blessed Be.

Strange Emotions

This morning I received a phone call from my ex-husband. The phone call came so early that I assumed something happened to one of my boys. Thank the Goddess they are fine(physically) however he informed me his father had passed away.

A flood of emotion overcame me as I listened to him tell me what happened, and it took everything in me to hold back the tears. My boys didn't take it very well and I could hear the sorrow in my ex-husband's voice. I honestly wanted to hug the man. I know I've spewed angry words about him, but we had a conversation the other day which I won't go into detail here about, and I basically made peace with him and everything that has transpired over the years. 

I think about my boys, and I can hear in my mind, my son Christian talking about "Bampa". They loved their grandpa so much. Is it weird that I am morning the passing of my ex father-in-law? My ex and I were just talking about him the other day. He was telling me how he was still being stubborn and was living with my ex's younger sister. He was JUST alive three days ago.  As my ex was speaking I was thinking back to when his mother passed away and how hard it hit him. He was much closer to his father and I can't imagine how he must be feeling right now.

My heart and prayers go out to my ex and his family, and most importantly my children. May the Goddess watch over all of them and heal their hearts in time. And may that man's spirit rest in peace.

Nothing Like a Good Old Fashioned Little League Game

**Also Posted in my "Life at Forty" Blog**

I'm still excited when I think about my kids game the other day, so much so I had to share it with all of you.

We are in play off season here, and I'm telling you this is really intense. I was slightly disappointed in the coach and the assistant coach as neither showed up for the big day. We had a team of only 8 players, league rules state that's the fewest amount of players you can have to play in the game. Whew...we just made it.

The kids are excited, parents had their concerns, but overall we figured "well if we lose, there's always the fall season to look forward to, and the kids had fun." So we start the first inning. We were home team so the first batter gets to the plate, cracks a line drive to the kid on third base and he caught it.

"That's a good omen, huh?" I said as I grinned at the mom sitting next to me while we clapped. "3 up three down kids, come on you can do it!" I yelled.

Sure enough, one kid made it on base the two others were struck out.

We get up to bat and our team is on a roll, we had one forced out at first and ended up with five runs that inning as the kids just kept on bringing in their team mates.

I was so happy to see the dads out there and our team mom catching and coaching the bases, helping out my kids dad who was the other Assistant coach on the team. There was some good energy out there and despite the doubts about us winning this game, those kids persevered and it paid off in the end.

We had one grand slam, and three home runs total. These were the kids the main coach didn't want on his team in the fall and next spring. Those kids gave it their all and it showed in the final two innings.

Top of the fifth and one runner on second and my son was up to bat. He hit a fly ball to left field and we were screaming and yelling at him "run, run run!!!" in a fury of excitement, unaware of the poor little left fielder lying on the ground. The kids dad stopped my son and the other team mate from running a home run when he saw the injured boy on the ground. One run came in, and two outs later the other team came up to bat. We were ahead by 4.

The boy that was injured was fourth at bat. It was the sixth and last inning of the game, we needed to hold them to secure our teams victory. The pressure was on. He hit a home run that landed deep in center/right field, our kids little legs are going to get that ball and we watch as the other team scored they were ahead by two. We were glad to see that boy recovered from his injury, but worried about winning the game at this point. Two more kids out, inning over.

Now it's our turn.

We start off the inning with two strike outs. It wasn't looking good. The pressure was on to get those pitches in so the kids could get on base. It was a nail biter. The next batter up is the only girl on the team. She hits a double and my son is up next, followed by his twin brother. He gets to first base and his brother is up next. Ohhhhhhh, the pressure for us moms sitting in the bleachers and even more pressure on my poor baby. "Clean the bases" I tell him under my breath, "just clean the bases". He gets a strike, first one, don't panic, next pitch "CRACK!" it heads clear out to centerfield and hits the fence. He's running as fast as his little legs can go and we are all standing and yelling "RUN, RUN, RUN", he stopped at second base which is what they do to wait for 3rd base coach to direct them, I scream at the top of my lungs "RUN BABY RUN!" the coach is winding his arm to keep the kids moving towards home base. (oooo i'm getting chills just thinking of this moment again...good chills LOL) I see my boy coming around third base he looks at me and i'm smiling and tears are coming and I'm just elated as he hits home plate.

WE WON!

Oh the glory!

(Oh the relief. LOL)

Those kids, in that moment, it was moment that they will remember the rest of their lives. Hugging each other, jumping up and down in excitement, coaches shaking hands parents screaming in awe. Priceless.

I look at the mom sitting next to me, she sees my tears and I'm laughing hysterically behind my tears. I'm telling her "Happy Tears here, happy tears" LOL She's laughing with me.

Such an adrenaline rush I tell ya.

It's just sad their coach couldn't have been there to see it. It's even sadder that their team mates who were absent couldn't partake in that victory. These kids that won the game, may not be the "best" players in their coach's eyes, but as far as I'm concerned they are the BEST and the true winners in the league no matter if they win the play offs or not because they put their heart and soul into that game and it paid off in the end for all of them.

Some Parents Amaze Me When It Comes To Sports

Good Afternoon!

I had to share this as I'm still in shock over how this day has progressed. The things I heard parents say and do makes me wonder about the future of our children.

My boys had their game today. They lost by ten points, mainly due to the poor calls by the umpire. Clearly this fella needs some glasses. Kids on our team that should have scored, didn't, and kids that should not have been out were(on both teams).  It got ugly.  Finally at one point during the game, when it was apparently the last bad call for one mom (I'll call her Sandy, as I don't know her name and wouldn't use it here anyway) she stood up and said "YOU SUCK!", I was in shock she said that turned around and looked at her with a grin like "OMG you did not just say that!" Needless to say this didn't go over well with the head of the little league who was out there, radio in hand, and he walked over to our bleachers and said "Ma'am you need to stop".  Then she's mocking him after he left, real mature.  


What happened to good sportsmanship? Granted those calls that were made weren't the best, and it did affect their score considerably, but life itself isn't always fair; good workers get passed over for promotions, kids get accepted to good colleges while others don't. It's part of life. Deal with it. Be grateful your child is healthy and can run and hit the ball. There are parents out there who would love for their child to catch a ball and not be in a wheel chair, or be blind and not able to enjoy a baseball game. 

I don't understand some parents. I really don't. I am by far nowhere even close to being a perfect parent, but I'm certainly not going to make myself into a raving lunatic because of a bad call at a LITTLE LEAGUE GAME. What sort of example is she setting for her child? And why should the other children and parents have to listen to her poor choice of words and crappy attitude too?


*shakes head in disgust* tsk tsk


I also have a problem with these parents who force their kids into sports and other extra-curricular activities just to live vicariously through their children and put them out there like show ponies while announcing to the world...

"Look at my son he's the best baseball player",


or "look at my daughter she's a straight A student, varsity captain of her volleyball team and speaks five fluent languages",

or " Show Aunt Laura your winning dance move that won you the state dance competition," 

All these kids want to do is be kids.  Sure extra-curricular activities are awesome, I'm all for it. And yes, every parent has a right to be proud of a child's hard work and great accomplishments having a "mommy brag moment" that's fine, but when you've heard for the tenth time any one of the above sentences at every family dinner, or playdate, or from a co-worker and the parent is more obsessed about it than the kid is, then it's gone too far and you've reached the point of activity overkill in my book.  And with some parents I think they do it more for their self-esteem than for their children's self-esteem. 


Another child on our team was injured at a game about a week ago. Let me give you the background on this kid and his father. His father loves to yell at him at EVERY game. I have yet to find a game where his father hasn't screamed at the kid for stupid reasons. It's not a constructive type of encouragement, but rather a tone of "You know how to do this don't be so stupid" tone, anger and frustration just spewing out of his pie hole.  

Apparently during last weeks game,  this little boy was hit with a ball, or swung too hard(I wasn't there I heard this second hand) and the coach let him sit out the next inning. There is his stupid father, (yes, I said stupid because when you hear the rest of the story you'll agree too I'm sure) yelling at  him in the dugout to get back out there. The coach put him back in(probably to shut the father up) and the poor kid was wincing the whole time he tried to swing. At one point he put his left hand down and was only swinging with his right hand. At which point, his father is yelling to him "*Eric*(not his real name btw), use both hands!"( I can hear that guys voice in my head right now, no joke, annoying as hell too) The kid is in dyer pain and no one seemed to care.


WHERE ARE THE ADULTS AT THIS GAME???!!!!! THE REAL ADULTS! The adults that are responsible and speak up for this poor kid. Not the coach(including my kids father), not the umpire, not the other team's coach or any parent in the stand stood up for this kid and said to pull him out of the damn game. What the hell is wrong with people? He was in pain, obvious pain from what I heard and not one damn adult in that baseball park stood up and said "you need to take him out."

A park full of cowards and one bully.


So two games ago I noticed that little Eric wasn't at the game. He's our star catcher. I asked my kids dad where he was and he told me, "He had a broken collar-bone".


REALLY????


Come on now people. Where is the common sense here. I get that most dad's have this "buck up and take it like a man" kind of philosophy with their boys and don't coddle them much, but come on now, don't you think a child wincing in pain and shoving him back out  on the field is a tad bit sadistic?? Call me crazy, but that's what sucks; Having testosterone driven, overly competitive parents barking at their kids like slave drivers, all in the name of "pushing them to their limits" on the sports field(or any other activity) for the sheer satisfaction of having a "winner" in the family.

So to all you competitive driven parents out there, who feel the need to treat your children like they are potential professional baseball, basketball, or football players, to those mothers who think their daughters are future cheerleaders for the Dallas Cowboys or are future dancers on Broadway, let me tell you something. 

#1. It isn't about how many trophies or awards your kids get throughout their lifetime that makes them special. 
#2. It isn't about toughing it out and running and pitching and dancing til you're practically dead that makes them special.


It's about letting THEM decide when they've had enough or want to go further. If it's their dream, SPECTACULAR I'm all for it just use some common sense, but if it's YOUR dream it's time for you to wake up and realize that you need to enjoy what little childhood they have left and start being a parent while finding your own dream to make YOU feel special. In the end you and your children are winners and spend some real quality time together which is something worth bragging about.

What We Did On Earth Day

This morning while taking the twins to school my five yr old daughter's voice yelled from the back of the van, "Mommy, can we walk to school?" I laughed and told her, "You all barely made it home from school the day the van broke down. It's too far to walk." To which my little John John(oldest twin) quipped, "Yeah, I almost didn't survive". I just about bust a gut when he said that. I was laughing so hard. I looked at him in the rear view mirror and he had these cheesy little grin on his face.

As we pulled into the parking lot at school, I told him "I know, you should be on that one show I shouldn't be Alive.  You walked a total of 1 and a half miles that day John John, forget being stranded in the Mojave desert or on a polar ice cap in freezing temps, walking from school on a warm spring day a mile and  a half I AM surprised you made it alive". I giggled and he grinned.

My kids are hilarious sometimes.

I wish I'd write down more often some of the things that escape their mouths, instead of waiting to blog them.

Yesterday as the kids were coming inside for the night my daughter looks at me with this silly girly crush look on her face and told me "I told Gus that I love him". If you could have seen the look on her face. Gus is our 8-year old neighbor whom my daughter has a little spark in her heart for. I laugh thinking about my first crush.  Oh to be five-years old once again. Then my daughter tells me, "John John told Gus he loves him too." He looked a bit embarrassed. So I told him, "It's okay sweetie. We should love everyone.  We are all brothers and sisters on the planet," I told him as I rubbed the top of his head with my palm.

We went inside, had dinner, and then we got out homework. As I went through his backpack I saw a book he made. They were suppose to title their books. It had a picture of the earth they had cut out and beneath the picture of the earth they had colored he wrote for his title: Muthr Eirthe (translation: Mother Earth) Bless his heart. He was so excited about the title of his book. He and his brother asked me about things that are on Earth besides plants and trees. I had to really think about that, then I told them dirt, rocks, stones, animals. We then went to the puter where I showed them the Earth video from Michael Jackson. Oh did they have questions. "Why is that elephant dead?" So I had to tell them that people take their tusks and sell them. "Mommy why is that man crying?" I explained that there was a war and the little girl was killed in the war. Was a very serious discussion. Then I explained to them what bio-degradable means. What compost is. We talked about oil spills and what happens.  Questions and observations were just flowing out of their little mouths and minds. It was quite the learning experience for all of us.

Magickal Graphics

I'm having what I tend to term a random lazy day around here.

I managed to pick up in my living room and surf the net a bit this morning while the twins were at school and my daughter visiting her little friend a few doors down.

Took a shower, started to pick up in the kitchen and before I knew it I had to go and get the kids. Not much accomplished in a two and a half hour window that I had to do anything. Went to pick up my kids at school, only to have them begging me to take them to take them to the park. "Sean is going to be there!" Now, I hadn't heard from Sean's mom, nor do I know her well enough to assume just because her kid says they are going to the park that they are actually going. I called and left a message with no response. So, when the kids kept hounding me to go, despite the chilly temps, wind, and looming rain in the distant skies over the mountains, my kids were so persistent and I caved in. So I brought them home, made sandwiches, grabbed the juice boxes and krispie treats and threw them in the bag we took. I told them on the way down there, "I'm telling you now, Sean isn't going to be there. Look at this weather? I doubt anyone will be there." They all sat silently in the back of the van. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't give one of those "i told you so because I know it all" lectures LOL?

We get to the park, and of course, no Sean. I know they were devastated but I wanted them to learn patience first of all and secondly I wanted them to grasp the concept that sometimes(not always) mom knows best which is why I took them despite the fact I had work at home to do. The park was empty. I saw a mom with her son that I knew from my daughter's dance class, we chatted briefly and then they left. There was not a soul out there. It was kind of nice actually to have the park to ourselves, however, as cold and windy as it was we didn't enjoy it very long. We ate lunch and then fed the birds, I let the kids go play for about fifteen minutes and then I had enough of the chill and the wind and we left. Just as we were leaving there were raindrops on my windshield. I told the kids, "see, I told you it was going to rain".

I'm really annoying as a mom sometimes. LOL

We got home and I told the kids they have half an hour to watch their show(which is just about up here as I look at the clock) and then we are cleaning this mess they made. I'd really love to mop my floors finally. They need a good wash down.

This weather makes me lazy though. I love sunny, warm spring days where I can open the windows, blast my music and just go to town in the house. Such is not the case today. i'd rather curl up with a good magazine, turn on a show on the tv and veg out.

Hoping the sun peeks out sometime today. I was hoping to plant some more stuff with the kids today, but that's just not going to happen.

I hope everyone is having a great afternoon. I'm going to scoot now and see what organizing and cleaning I can get done with what little energy I have at the moment.

Bright Blessings Everyone!

My Sweet Little Pete

My youngest twin, Peter, was in the bathroom and I was on the computer here as his siblings were finishing their lunch while watching golf with their father. After about five minutes I realized he was singing in the bathroom and I hear him ask his father, "Daddy, what comes after seven swans a swimming?" He tells him 8 lords a leaping at which point I correct him and let him know it's 8 maids a milking. He went through all Twelve Days of Christmas while sitting on the toilet and making sure to emphasize the fifth day "Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive Golllllllllllllllllden Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiings" as it echoed through the bathroom. The acoustics in there are awesome.

I'm laughing to myself here, as I don't know what possessed this child to start singing Christmas carols in the middle of March. I would have expected something more along the lines of "here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail...." or something like that.

He cracks me up. The things he does and says just amaze me some days and even on my worst days he manages to make me giggle or smile at least.

Like two days ago. He was busily drawing something at the living room table when everyone else had gone to bed. I kept telling him he had to get up there too, it was a school night. "Just five more minutes mommy". "Okayyyyyyyyy" I mumble. He comes up to me and says "here." I look at the piece of paper folded in half with an orange heart on the front and my name(mommy) in the middle of the heart.

On the inside he wrote:

"I like you mommy. Mommy is my bastfrad foravr. Mommy is my bast frad into wod."

Translation:

I like you mommy. Mommy is my best friend forever. Mommy is my best friend in the whole world.

I love this boy.

Who wouldn't?

He is such an amazing boy, and has this silent sweet side to him. Sure, he can be a handful some days and has a nasty little temper sometimes. But overall, he's a lovable little fella and I just can't help but find myself feeling blessed for having him in my life.